well..

Bismillah,
Assalamualaikum.

Ok ok ok, i need to think straight. Gimme about 5 seconds. 1 2 3 4 5...
What happened just now? Abah asked for my i/c number, angka pejabat and opsyen. hm. is he serious? is he doing what i am thinking now? let's get back to last night when i told him that one of the english teachers at my school had just received a memo to P.putih. But, i didn't remember telling him that i, too want to be transferred. Em, come to think about it again, i did a bit of mengadu to my mom about something. I told her that I smsed my KP telling him that if possible, dun give me another of Gigih and Harmoni classes. I've had enough of those classes already.But, my KP said that given the choice to anyone else pun, no one ever wants those classes. I know, i am not demanding the A classes, but if possible, cukup la i have 3 Gigih, 3 Harmoni and 4 Harmoni. If i get another Gigih or Harmoni classes, it won't be fair to me. Try la masuk ngajar kelas 3 HARMONI! let see if u can manage them (kalau cekgu lelaki, boleh la kot sbb budak2 tu takut ngan cekgu LELAKI) Lastly, i apologised to him, telling him that i redha je la dpt klas mane2 pon. I know other people will say that i am demanding.... Yes, i am. It's not because i used to study oversea. It's not because i THINK i am good. It is because i know i can't bring myself to teach all the low-level students. I am not a strict teacher. I am not good in classroom management (And i got C for this subject!) It's because i feel demotivated. I am not that strong to teach the lower classes. Teaching the low-level students in that school is like not teaching at all! you just go into the class to take care of their misbehaviour. You just go into the classroom to make sure that they won't play truant. That's all! They won't listen to me. Eventhough i scold them, i raise my voice at them, they will just ignore me! And one student in 3 HARMONI said this to his friend when i raise my voice at him (because he was walking in the class doing nothing)"Mu kenaling ko? Aku dok pun" And he ignored me. Ya Allah. I've had enough. Kesabaranku amat teruji.

p/s: I know other people's situation lagi teruk. I know that. "Allah tidak memberati seseorang melainkan apa yang terdaya olehnya. Ia mendapat pahala kebaikan yang diusahakannya, dan ia juga menanggung dosa kejahatan yang diusahakannya. (Mereka berdoa dengan berkata): "Wahai Tuhan Kami! Janganlah Engkau mengirakan kami salah jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Wahai Tuhan Kami! Janganlah Engkau bebankan kami bebanan yang berat sebagaimana yg telah Engkau bebankan kpd orang-orang terdahulu drpd kami. Wahai Tuhan Kami! Jgnlah Engkau pikulkan kpd kami apa yg kami tidak terdaya memikulnya. Dan maafkanlah kesalahan kami, serta ampunkanlah dosa kami, dan berilah rahmat kpd kami. Engkaulah penolong kami, oleh itu tolonglah kami utk mencapai kemenangan terhadap kaum-kaum yg kafir" (Al-Baqarah:286)

Ma selalu ckp, berdoa lah semoga mereka dilembutkan hati. Yes, my heart and my mind never stops saying "Ya Latiff" when i am in their class. Tapi....mungkin Allah masih belum memakbulkan permintaanku.

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